The Love for Self
Self-talk is the act of talking to yourself either aloud or mentally. No matter good or bad, these are the messages that you are telling yourself all day long about yourself.
The messages you tell yourself will encourage and motivate you, or they will limit you because they are negative.
For example, if you are constantly focussed on your inadequacies, fears or problems, then that is all you will see about yourself. What we focus on grows and if your focus is predominantly on the things you fear, then the thoughts can become debilitating.
If you are focussed on negatives about yourself, then those negatives are all you will see. In the world of cognitive behaviour, our THOUGHTS open the door to our EMOTIONS and we then open the door to our ACTIONS.
If our thoughts are constantly about how we are not good enough for that role, that person or that opportunity, then our emotions will quickly follow suit. Our emotions will reflect fear, inadequacy, loathing and shame and our actions will be a state of in-action. We will do nothing which will keep the inner voice happy but our conscious self will know and want better.
Self-talk is so important as these are the messages that determine whether you should keep trying or not. The messages you send yourself can either help you succeed, or they can hold you back and keep you paralysed in fear.
The secret to self-talk is the ability to turn the volume down. To not let your inner voice control what it is you REALLY want rather than the excuses you make. Your inner voice tries to keep you safe but it doesn't always keep you happy.
“If you think you can’t or think you can, you’re absolutely right” - Henry Ford
So thinking positively is the key but it takes work. It doesn't always just happen. It is a full cognitive workout that we need to do each and every day. We need to stare down our negative thoughts, question them decide which version of our thinking we would like to pay attention to.
We have over 50,000 thoughts per day and the sheer nature of the human species dictates that at least 70-80% of those thoughts are negative or risk orientated. If you would like to engage in positive thinking, we have to unwire what is hard-wired and we need to do this each day.
This pack contains a number of exercises that assist us to identify some of our thoughts which we then have a conscious opportunity to unwind. Any time you feel your self-talk is overwhelming, grab one of these templates to dissect your thinking quickly.
Exercise 1
Write down 7 negative words or phrases that you remember hearing yourself saying. Then think about each one and replace it with a more positive alternative. For many the second part is harder.
Example:
I am going to be late for …. replace with I will be on time for ….
The word Problem replace with the word Opportunity.
Grab a sheet of paper and try out the following exercise:
Think of negative words or phrases you hear yourself say to others, that people say to you, or more importantly the inner voice what you say to yourself.
Write them down.
Now think of more positive alternatives. Like the 2 examples above, this can be challenging for some the first time.
Exercise 2: What's in my head?
Write or draw all the thoughts you have on your mind.To release them from your mind helps you let them go (what is on the page is no longer in your head).
Exercise 3: Rate your Upset
Exercise 4: Identify your automatic negative thoughts
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